My commitment not to cause harm means I have to examine colonial blind spots.
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Most meetings involve getting to the meeting, having the meeting and then leaving. We pay little attention to how we arrive or how we leave; we zip in and out. This business as usual practice minimizes our attention to the topic and people at the meetings we attend and what we can accomplish.
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To enable a community to listen to itself, I am invisible, barely there, playing an essential role in holding them before they can hold themselves.
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When I teach the practice and how to practise, the power of our learning community shifts from me to us.
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It’s time to design gatherings that allow us to find and meet each other and wrestle with what it means to belong
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A city that heals itself has the courage to talk about the stuff that makes us feel uncomfortable.
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When taking action requires us to make choices, we are choosing to move in a specific direction. When that choice is hard, we move more significantly in that direction.
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Being in the same room (in person or on a Zoom call) does not mean we are having authentic human interaction. To have that, we must be interacting with each other.
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We find it hard to believe in the existence of barriers to participation city life when we don't experience those barriers
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If I want people to be at a gathering, it is my responsibility to ask them (after confirming they are interested in attending) what will make it work for them—and then do what they ask.
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What I did not say to her: when you exercise your sovereignty he is not going to like it. He will find the new you disturbing and destructive to his sense of self and he will do everything he can to claw you back into that place that is unhealthy for you–-even while telling you he loves you and supports you.
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As a citizen, voter, ratepayer, business owner, community volunteer, I have a responsibility to hear when I have caused harm and—whenever I can—meet the needs of other. But I can only do this if I am capable and willing to hear that others are experiencing harm.
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The energetic pattern of a gathering, both in how we design them ahead of time, or the dynamics during the gathering, need our constant attention. One of the ways I keep an eye on things is to ask: are we aiming to fix or improve?
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Here’s what I experience: when I use economic goods with a fixation that feeds my cravings and compulsions, I create the conditions for my own wasting away. I experience a pull away from self; I distract myself from myself.
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Have you ever landed in the expert trap? I was really stuck a couple years ago: I started talking and talking and talking, not leaving any room for anyone else.
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My favourite fire chief had a split personality. He recognized and practiced two kinds of meetings with his staff in the fire department: the ones where instruction are issued and the ones where the team sits back to listen to their own wisdom and then act accordingly.
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I bet this is a familiar experience: someone says they want to hear what you think and they do most of the talking. If you are like me, you also do it yourself. Even when we don’t mean to, we fall into the trap of telling when we mean to be listening.
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The choice at hand for each of us: Which infection do I choose to spread? The anger and frustration that comes with fight drama, or the generative possibility that comes with exploring conflict?
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I have lost my desire to be in learning spaces that claim to be about community when they are not. I have a shift to make in my approach, as well as name the shift to the people with whom I am creating the learning habitat. The shift I must make is simple: from "me and community" to "me in community".
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